Toby Talks

Okay..guess I’ll play…..here are my answers to those stupid “question things” my human likes so much…………..

# 1 ~~ 20 Random Facts About Me, ……….by Toby Tuggle

1. First of all, I hate being dressed up in silly hats and scarves!

2. I think my human must be stupid because she thinks she needs to lift me up into the truck.......it's funny, really listening to her grunt and lift my back end up...truth be told, I am far better able to get in that truck than she is....(same grunting)

3. I collect stuffed toys.....I prefer bears and toys that squeak, but any toy will do.....

4. I also collect underwear, caps, pants, shirts, pillows off beds, bags of groceries from unattended car trunks, meat off grills, and bags of garbage.....I'M NOT A HOARDER...I just like "stuff"

5. I like my stuff to be out where everyone can see it - preferably the front yard........

6. I like to sit in the front yard and nod at people thinking, 'Ohhhh yeah.......see all this stuff?........it's mine."

7. I don't like to use my "big dog" voice, but I will if I have to.

8. Since this Blondie girl and her little dog have moved in, I get no respect around here and it seems the word "no" has joined the vocabulary.

9. The neighbors next door brought a mountain lion with them and we have yet to come to agreeable terms as to how it should behave when I sneak in for my daily snacks that I'm sure Grandpa Jerome and G'ma Barb left for me.

10. I broke down and taught the new neighbor girls how to play tag....I don't know what they are teaching kids in school these days but it seems that how to play a fair game of tag is not one of them.

11. I really wish my human and that Blondie girl would stop holding on to me when I’m trying to swim…….what are they trying to do drown me?

12.  In case you are thinking of going to the grocery store today…I really do prefer the ORIGINAL pupperonis…..not those other goofy flavors.

13.  I can’t lie…sometimes when my human wants to hug and “talk” I pretend I’m asleep and snore a little louder just to make my point.

14.  I really wish people would leave things other than fruit on their kitchen counters….like some #12’s would be nice.

15.  Yeah, I am bad about shutting the door behind me after I visit….but honestly, usually my mouth is full and if I sit down what I’m carrying than I might lose it…….or forget it.

16.  Sometimes I’m easily distracted……..like today, my human gave me my ice cream and in the middle of eating it a fly got my attention and I chased it into the living room, then the chair looked nice, so I sat down when I remembered I still had ice cream to finish! I think I’m starting to act like the other people who live in this house.

17.  Okay, this is a bit of a secret..but the first couple of times I plopped on the couch and the television went on it scared the living daylights out of me! I try to make sure I miss that remote thing now – especially when I’m home alone.

18.  cockleburs……………..SUCK!

19.  My favorite words are..treats, ride, tag you’re it, get your ball, get your monkey, drink, outside, swim, pool, play, love you (I know…can’t help it I try to be a bad a$$ but my damn tail wags I swear on its own!), ice cream, dinner, bed and MOMMY’S HOME (actually I just have to pee when I hear her yelling like an idiot in the garage before she gets to the door).

20.  My least favorite words are…..no (hurts my feelings), wait (hurts my feelings), you can’t go this time (makes me want to PUKE), peeper, hot (OUCH!), spanking (she’ll never do it….but she just says it so mean!), leave Joey alone (why bring a toy dog in the house if you don’t want it to be….A TOY?), stay out of the garbage, and that’s not yours.

# 2 ~ Describe 3 legitimate fears that you have and explain how they became fears.

1.      I have a real fear that someone will take all my stuff.

2.     That someday I will turn around and my butt will be missing….I spend a lot of time checking to make sure this won’t happen…..

3.    That the machine my mom uses to “clean” my toys will eat them.  I sit and guard and watch as they go round and round in there….and I’m careful to count them all when they are done to make sure they all made it.  I don’t like that machine one bit, but I do like the way my toys smell after they’ve been in there!