Facebook Note from 8/4/2010 - "The Sod Caper"

I don't want to bore you with the details, but the landscapers had to return and do a major overhaul of the side yard on Monday to fix the fact that when it rained last week I had a mud slide of biblical proportions! Anyway they worked all day - until after 7 p.m. and one of the things they did was put down sod. I spent most of the day painting in the garage and when I saw the abundance of sod I thought it might be a good idea to sneak a roll of it to fix the dead patches of grass in the front yard from Toby's peeing.

Sooo I observed the workers on both sides of the house and tried to "time" their trips to the sod pile. I decided that I would go out, water some plants that were near the sod, grab a roll, run it to the garage and come back and continue watering. I made a place for the sod in the garage. My plan was complete. I text messaged Tyler, "I'm going to steal a roll of sod". He replied, "Why?" I said, "Because I want to!!" He said, "Don't, mom".

I filled my watering can. I checked both sides of the yard to make sure their wheelbarrels were full of sod and they wouldn't be coming back soon for more. Then.....I chickened out and went back to the garage and started to paint again. Second try......I watered the plant, put down the watering can, grabbed a roll of sod, and ran.........smack dab into my garage door! I didn't have the door open all the way - I wanted the breeze and not the sun beating in on me. So in my hurry to steal sod I forgot to duck and BAM!It made a huge bang and I yelled "BABY JESUS!!!!" I about knocked myself out!! - I dropped my roll of sod which or course unrolled. Still dizzy I bent over and grabbed the end of the sod and pulled it in the garage and closed the garage door!! Whew!! Then I wiped what I thought was sweat from my face and it was blood from my forehead. Good Grief!!

Well, heck - I sat there on my step to the house door with a wet shop towel to my head thinking, "That was a lot of trouble to get ONE lousy roll of sod!" Yes, yes....I know what you are thinking and you are right - I decided to get another roll. I opened the garage door (this time all of the way), picked up my paint brush and painted a bit more until I got the timing right again and this time - I just walked out there, grabbed that roll of sod and ran into the garage......tripped over my gallon of paint primer which spilled on the first roll that was still rolled out on the floor!! "ARE YOU SHITTING ME??!!" I yelled.

It took me 35 minutes to clean up the mess. Now I'm ticked.Crime does NOT pay - but I was going to have TWO rolls of sod (that didn't have paint on it) to fix my front yard after all of this. I walked out - very brave on the way there didn't look to see who might be coming, grabbed a roll and ran (very cautiously) into the garage. I then stood with my hand on my hip, head throbbing, garage door smeared with white primer, and hit the garage door button to close it. My work was done.

Later, the landscapers knocked on the door to say they were done and...they had some sod left and if I wanted it I could have it.........SERIOUSLY??? It must have been the side effects of my concussion but I started laughing....Yep - 19 rolls lef (plus the 'stolen' merchandise in my garage). They left and my neighbors called me over. We talked a little bit and another neighbor walked over and she says, "A little while ago Carl was sitting in his chair and called m into the living room. He said, "What is she doing?'" Sure enough - Carl and Judith Scott watched me "stealing the sod". Carl also saw me run into the garage door and the neighbors all had to check out my forehead. Then Judy said Carl asked "What I can't figure out is why she stealing her own sod?" Carl comes out and adds to the story and even demonstrates how I "high stepped it" with the sod. They all laugh (haha my head just keeps pounding) and they ask ....why WAS I stealing my own sod?

Very good question..........