Facebook Note from 9/21/2009 ~ "Chuck's Letter"

The letter shared below was written by my husband to be read at his memorial service...to know/understand me is to get a glimpse at the wonderful man I will forever love my whole life....

If your reading this then it means I've lost this tormented battle.. .or it menas someone has been snooping and if that's the case, Marita, my goofy ass, please stop here and put this away.
No one is more sorry than I am that I can't be there with you.. I'm sure Brownie, Andy, Jeff, Dan,Bobby, Merlin,Keith and Miky and the rest aree having some laughs at my expense. That's okay I only wish I was there to tell the stories the truthful version. I miss you guys too and I'll have some great fishing holes to show you when you get here! To my kids at Peoria high - I know you were a captive audience, but thanks for listening. Remember you have choices - use them wisely. You can choose to stay in school and have a chance at a decent living to support a family and decent life, or you can quit school and work a meaningless existence. Its about the choices you make right now. Mom, Dad thank you for everything. You gave me lots of love and support an d made me— the person I am.
Uncle artie, my brother, I love you man. I miss you already.
To my children tyler and Bonnie jo, I love you. You make me so proud. I love being your dad and I am not done. I will be that voice in your head saying "get serious, finish school, SOON, tell the truth, continue to be the amazing human beings your mother has made you and I hope I've helped a little, do what you need to do not what you necessarily want to do. Take care of your mom she needs you to step up to the plate." Thank you for being my children it is not possible for me to love you more.
Now this is the hard part. I want you all to know that the hardest thing about me leaving is that I didn't get 25 years at least with my girl. Rght nowshe is scared and lost and probably a little mad at me for leaving her. Or, knowing her she is feeling guilty about some stupid thing like not letting me put my gun cabinet in the house. I know honey, you're looking for the perfect place it's not a problem. But listen to me everyone I need you to be my arms and hug her for me every day. I need you to be my voice and remind her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. I've spoiled her that way. I ask you to be my shoulders for her to lean on when you see she has too mch to bear. Don't wait fo her to ask. I'll be there too but I need your help. Mom, Dad, Art - Marita is the best part of me. Do what you have to do to see her through this - whatever was to be mine, love, guidance, inheritance,-give to her and tyler and Bonnie.
Now, honey, my sweet Marita Jo I want you to know I am right here baby always strong, and unwavering in my love for you. You can't see me but I'm here. I will never leave your side. I want you to know I have loved you since I was 14, its always been you. Sweetheart, you made me so damn happy. Your kind, beautiful, loving spirit liftd my soul. You are my best friend, Marita you've always been my best friend. My one regret in this life is I didn't marry you 20 years ago.I promise you you'll be just fine.My family and our friends will help me take care of you. You are not alone I will always be with you. I'm so sorry honey to put you through all of this. But I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the only true happiness I've ever know. Thank you for loving me -1 loved the way you loved me. Thank you for putting up with my shit and taking such good care of me and th e kids. You're a great mom and the best wife a man could ever dream to hope for. Thank you for all your work on our beautiful home. Now, you and the kids findpeace and safety there. And, when it's time my beautiful darling, my sweet Marita, I'll be here with a big goofy grin on my face waiting for my girl. Marita, I love you with all my heart and soul. I LOVE YOU. ' '/